Qui-Gon "Team Dad" Jinn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sithkabobed) wrote2016-09-06 05:47 pm
sithkabobed) wrote2016-09-06 05:47 pm
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Qui-Gon won't insult Ezra's intelligence by pretending he doesn't know what it is the boy is alluding to, and he tilts his own head to match the Padawan's gaze with a knowing neutrality. He has his own opinions on the matter, being one of the many people whose fates Ezra is trying to change, but this isn't his decision to make.
"I don't have a direct answer to your question, Ezra. What I do know is that the Force adapts to our decisions, and that we are not free of the consequences thereof. But most of all, I know we must accept whatever comes to pass--whether we like it or not."
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Is that selfish? Is he only acting on his own desires here?
"But I can want something that the Force wants too. Right? Personal desires aren't always bad. And they're not always the only reason someone has."
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Qui-Gon offers Ezra another half-hug and a small, poignant smile. This isn't a lecture, nor is he trying to dissuade Ezra from doing what he believes is right, but caution is an important virtue and acceptance is a quality that will keep the boy on the right path.
"What is important is acceptance, and how you intend to learn from your experience."
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"I don't know what I'll learn," he admits. "But I'd still like to find out. It's... It feels important to me."
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"It's a Jedi proverb," he explains, "about the uncertainty of the future, and our role in the present. You'll find your place, Ezra, and your correct path. Just continue doing good."
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He can do that. Maybe not perfectly, but still. He can do it.
And that thought's enough to bring him the peace he needed when he sought Qui-Gon out tonight. The last bit of tension keeping him awake dissipates, and... well. Qui-Gon makes a perfectly good pillow to rest his head against, warm robes, gentle arms, and all.
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Qui-Gon's voice is quiet with sobriety, but not devoid of hope for Ezra's future. Whatever the boy is destined to encounter is uncertain, and he has many paths sprawling before his undoubtedly shaky feet. But Qui-Gon trusts Ezra's desire to do the right thing, just as he trusts the young Padawan will falter, just as he trusts that he'll pick himself up, dust off his clothes, and continue forward. It's clear that he has the indomitable spirit of a Jedi in the making.
When Ezra falls silent, Qui-Gon gently brushes his fingers through his hair, tied up in a ponytail reminiscent of a Padawan from years long past and a culture long decimated. It hurts, at first, to think of the Jedi Order as nothing but a fairy tale, its followers reduced to the ranks of specters and mythology. But then his thoughts turn to the very real fact that the Jedi Order's future will be carried on by the likes of Luke and the boy nestled against his side. Suddenly, things don't seem so bad. Suddenly, the briefest glimpses of hope are enough to sway Qui-Gon's thoughts along a more positive route--in no small part thanks to the dedication Ezra has already shown to his cause.
The Padawan's breathing evens out and his grip, although still secure, relaxes just enough to clue Qui-Gon in on what's happened. Ezra is asleep, and the old Jedi is trapped.
Just as well, Qui-Gon muses with a smile as he unceremoniously tosses the unused packet of tea onto the nearby table, he's had me trapped since the moment he arrived on this island.
He settles into the couch without much thought going into comfort. He's slept in far worse conditions on different assignments, and although his own apprentices may have complained about piles of garbage digging into their backs or torrential rainfall making their cloaks soggy and unfit to keep them warm, Qui-Gon always took it all in stride.
Despite his past reluctance to take on Obi-Wan after his failure with Xanatos, Qui-Gon now finds himself missing those days. The days filled with mild heart attacks at the behest of his Padawan's safety, those precious moments of learning and discovery, and heartfelt conversations where he could impart wisdom and receive new perspective in return. Here, with Ezra, Rey, Lune, and others from their galaxy looking to learn about the path of the Jedi, he can relive them a little bit and do his part to ensure the Jedi will never truly die.
He glances down at Ezra once more before allowing his own eyes to flutter shut, easing his body into a state between meditation and sleep. It's not a disposition that allows for dreaming outside of the occasional capricious message from the Force, but it does leave room for thought. As such, a single question briefly crosses Qui-Gon's mind, leaving it open to considering all of its possible answers:
What kind of person will you become?
Qui-Gon doesn't want to entertain the idea that Ezra could fall down a dark path, but the chance is still there. It's always there. Xanatos taught him that. Still, and it could very well be the product of his optimistic words minutes ago, he can't help but believe that Ezra will, regardless of his ultimate fate, make himself and his master proud and the galaxy a better place.
And that's what really matters.